What exactly is a “perfect” body? And where did the idea of perfect come from? What is your belief of a perfect body and how did you come up with your answer?
We are living in a world where the obsession with our body image is driven by an unrealistic standard of perfection, and with perfection (whatever that means) comes the misconception that then you’ll be desired and loved.
The images we compare ourselves with are usually up against celebrities and those that have been airbrushed, retouched, and supermodels that are genetically born with long thin limbs. Regardless of the body you’re currently working towards, there will always be something you want to change.
There are many actresses and models that no matter how perfect they look in your eyes, there is something they’re insecure about and also want to change. No ‘perfect’ body lasts forever – you get older, your body changes and unexpected illnesses can occur in your life where you are forced to change the way you look at things.
We are constantly bombarded with messages and products to look younger, be younger, and feel younger, because once you have that hot body or wrinkle-free face, THEN you will meet your soulmate, THEN you’ll be happy, THEN you’ll be confident, or THEN your partner will desire you more and have no reason to look elsewhere.
Really? Because there are some women who are considered beautiful by society’s standard of beauty, but they’re unhappy, ego-obsessed, and self-loathing people. In addition, they are not in a loving relationship, they spend most of their time in gyms, and obsess over everything they eat leaving no room for anything else. This is not soul driven, this is ego driven.
To love yourself is to also love your body exactly as it is while you’re in the process of changing what you CAN change and for the right reasons. If you choose to get the breast implants, or the Botox, or whatever, make sure to ask yourself what your true motivation is for wanting to cosmetically change your body/appearance. And is this change for you or for someone else? Is this change coming from an unhealthy place of believing you’re not good enough?
There is no right or wrong when it comes to changing your body. It’s a personal choice and you need to be at peace with it. Women need to stop judging other women and instead respect their choices. What one does to their appearance is no one’s business and we all need to keep our eyes on our own path.
All the external things that we do are fine and can make us feel good temporarily. And if you’re a girlie girl like me who loves to workout, wear makeup, paint the nails, and look pretty simply because you like it, it’s fun and you love to take care of yourself, then so be it.
The external things that you do only become a problem when you think that by fixing something on the outside you will then be loved, accepted and desired.
No matter how good you look on the outside, if you have not done any work on the inside, you are just going to continue to attract similar partners and situations into your life, but you’ll just look better.
Now let’s not get this all twisted: I’m not suggesting you sit on the couch all day and binge on junk food, that’s not self-love either. I’m a big supporter of being fit, strong and healthy (whatever that means to you). I’m also a big believer in not being ashamed of your beauty. However, regardless of how we look on the outside, it’s how we feel on the inside that’s most important.
And until we treat our bodies like our best friend and realize that our body is here to serve our spirit so that we can fulfill our soul’s agenda, we will never be at peace.
At the end of the day, if you want to live a happier and more peaceful life, you’ve got to find a way to start loving your body exactly as it is. If you’re relying only on your physical appearance to boost your self-esteem and self-worth, I’m afraid you’re going to struggle for the rest of your life.
When I got really ill, I didn’t have the energy to workout & I noticed I got flabby. At first, I thought “Yuck,” but after a vivid dream of me running on the beach, I felt what it was like to have strong legs again. I woke up with tears praying that all I wanted is to have strong legs again so that I can go for my walks on the beach and be able to fulfill my purpose with energy.
Everything was put into perspective quick smart and in that moment a sense of self-compassion came over me and I could’ve cared less about not being toned.
But don’t wait to reach a point of illness to start being kinder to yourself. You can start to build your body confidence with these 5 tips:
1. BECOME AWARE AS TO WHERE YOU’RE PICKING UP NEGATIVE MESSAGES
Do the magazines that you read at the hair salon make you feel paranoid about your own body? Then don’t read them. Do the Instagram accounts you follow make you obsess about your weight? Then don’t follow them. Do your negative thoughts about your body come from your mother, father, or ex-boyfriend? If so you are now free to no longer buy into their beliefs and create your own beliefs. You need to be mindful as to what you are allowing to enter your mind – when you become aware of where you pick up your negative messages, you are then in a position do something about it and start creating a positive body image.
2. TAKE NOTE OF THE NEGATIVE WORDS YOU USE TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF
Most of us when we are not being kind to ourselves tend to speak something like: “I hate my thighs, I hate my bloated stomach, I hate my flabby arms, I hate the cellulite on my legs,” and so on. Your body hears everything your mind tells it. Be mindful by creating loving, affirming statements about yourself.
Make a list to remind you that reads: “When I start criticizing myself, I will say this instead…” And write down as many positive, loving statements starting from the inside out. For example, I appreciate all that you do for me; You are smart, fun, and reliable; I love your strength and perseverance, and so on.
3. SHIFT YOUR FOCUS OFF OF WHAT YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY
Look for what you do like about your appearance – whatever we focus on expands. So if you’re constantly focusing on your flaws, then your flaws are all you will see and create. Start complimenting yourself, for example; I love my hair; I like the shape of my shoulders; I like my smile etc.
4. LISTEN TO YOUR OWN GUIDANCE
What might be considered healthy eating for your girlfriend may not agree with your body; there is no perfect diet that suits all people. So you need to listen to your own inner guidance and do your own research as to which foods are best for your unique body type and at this particular time in your life. If someone chooses to eat vegan/vegetarian that is their choice, if someone chooses to eat Paleo that is their choice. Please don’t judge or tell them that it is “wrong” to eat the way they are eating. Wrong by whom? Again, keep your eyes on your own path and BE that person you wish to be.
5. CREATE DAILY REMINDERS
Set your smartphone with loving statements to go off throughout the day or write post-it notes. For example; “(insert your name), you are so beautiful,” “You are Amazing,” “Thank you for working so hard in keeping me healthy.”
Learning to love and honor our body is definitely a life long process. Understand that no matter what you look like there is someone who loves you exactly as you are. You are loveable and worthy of love right now.
You do not need to become thinner, toner, or whatever, to be lovable. But make sure that this person who loves you for you, starts with you.
The way you talk about yourself is more important than anyone could ever say to you or about you.
Which step are you going to put into practice? Comment below!