You can’t really escape Valentines Day because wherever you turn there’s Hallmark ads, teddy bears, flowers and chocolates screaming romance. A lot of it is commercial capitalising on the human need to be in love and coupled off.
If you’re single, days like this can make you feel lonelier, and feel like you’re missing on some special feeling that one gets from a partner.
And if you’re in a relationship you may have an agreement that it’s a minor day but secretly wish your #bae would give you the attention, romance and that feeling of being cherished.
If you are so used to doing everything, you have trained your partner to feel that it’s not a big deal.
However, you don’t need that perfect romantic partner to experience love. There are a lot of people who are married, feel lonely, have difficult times and don’t have the romance. So having a partner is not the answer to feeling loved and special.
I can remember being single on one particular Valentine’s Day and buying myself flowers; it was the greatest feeling, and I genuinely felt happy. I was heading into my usual organic café and the store owner asked if I had found love. Clearly, the energy that I was putting ‘out there’ was a high vibration. This was a moment in my life where I truly felt unconditional love and worked toward healthy self-esteem.
But it wasn’t always like this. I made sure I did the work and aligned myself with self-love, which made me feel secure and whole.
Remember, you don’t need another person to access love that is inside you right now that God has given you. So the best thing is to learn to lean on the love within you in all circumstances of your life.
The waiting of meeting your partner in order to feel loved is where we get into trouble and fall into that lonely space.
Allow yourself to feel the love energy in your life already and be around friends that are living fully and enjoying life, instead of putting yourself in the corner waiting for that fairy-tale prince or princess to come to you.
We don’t get love from another person, we have it already and so we share our love with another. They are not our source; God is our source of true love. And it starts with feeling the self-love within.
Self-love is not putting yourself above another or having to prove you’re better than others, it means feeling love within yourself.
Are you showing up in your life? Do you think highly of yourself? Because if you don’t, you’ll inevitably have people show up in your life that will agree with you.
So many of us say I don’t really have any time for myself. But then we start to feel insecure, moody, and unhappy or feel like there’s something missing because we haven’t given ourselves the attention we need.
We then make Valentine’s Day the one day of the year that we try to cram all this love and expectations into one day and set ourselves up for disappointment.
How about making it a day of self-love and love for ALL people. The ability to be able to give and receive love is the healthiest thing you can do on this planet.
Every single one of us has a place within our heart that was broken from someone who was supposed to love us but didn’t.
We secretly still have this underlying addiction that the ‘other’ will save us and bring all the love that we desire and need to heal. But we can’t place the ‘other’ on a pedestal because he or she could leave or it could be you doing the leaving.
Getting ready for love means a lot more than toning up your body or buying sexy lingerie. It means getting ready within; clearing and healing any past heartbreaks, resentments, and fears, limiting beliefs and opening your heart again when you feel ready.
Act like someone who is in love, even though you may not be. Everywhere you go exude blissful energy. Let everyone you meet feel your love.
Your Self Love Junkie Valentine’s Day Prescription
1. Ask yourself
What romantic gestures or actions would I like on Valentines Day?
2. Take action
The thought you just had about the romantic gesture is something for you to do for you, whether you’re single or in a relationship, you are going to do that for yourself.
3. Affirm loving words
Speak words that will lift you up. “I am loving. I am deeply loveable.” “I deserve to be cherished.” This awakens the attractive energy that draws to you beautiful energy of love that you deserve.
4. Keep your heart open
Bring flowers into your life, as they’re healing, gentle for your energy and open your heart to love. Visualize your heart surrounded by pink light, or buy pink roses and inhale the fragrance. Alternatively, you may hold a rose quartz crystal close to your heart and/or prayer to feel fulfilled. The more that you open your heart, the more love, joy, and peace you’ll feel.
This deserves repeating many times, but it’s so important to nurture the relationship you have with yourself instead of spending all of your energy on trying to have another person make you feel satisfied. If you continue to put self-love on the back burner you may keep attracting people, situations and relationships that disappoint you.
You are loved as you are, and your identity isn’t in your relationship status or how you look, you’re identity is rooted in God’s love.
I hope you enjoy the greatest adventure of learning to love yourself. Be sweet to you, and have some fun.
Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful.