You can’t really escape Valentine’s Day because wherever you turn there’s Hallmark ads, teddy bears, flowers and chocolates screaming romance. A lot of it is commercial capitalising on the human need to be in love and coupled off.
If you’re single, days like this can make you feel lonelier, and feel like you’re missing on some special feeling that one gets from a partner.
And if you’re in a relationship you may have an agreement that it’s a minor day but secretly wish your #bae would give you the attention, romance and that feeling of being cherished.
If you are so used to doing everything, you have trained your partner to feel that it’s not a big deal.
However, you don’t need that perfect romantic partner to experience love. There are a lot of people who are married, feel lonely, have difficult times and don’t have the romance. So having a partner is not the answer to feeling loved and special.
I can remember being single on one particular Valentine’s Day and buying myself flowers; it was the greatest feeling, and I genuinely felt happy. I was heading into my usual organic café and the store owner asked if I had found love.
I had to laugh. This was my own secret ‘proof’ that the healing work I had been doing was clearly working. What was the big difference? I had worked from the inside out. And this was a moment in my life where I truly felt unconditional love regardless of what was happening to me ‘out there.’
Remember, you don’t need another person to access the love that’s inside you right now. Yes, of course it’s lovely to share your love with someone else but we can also say that having a partner comes with another set of issues too. Nothing is perfect.
So the best thing to do is to allow this day to be a celebration of loving the woman in the mirror and sharing your love from an overflow cup with all the people that you love in your life and who you meet today.
Because the waiting of meeting your partner in order to feel loved is where we get into trouble and fall into that lonely space.
Allow yourself to feel the love in your life already and be around friends or family that are living fully and enjoying life, instead of putting yourself in the corner waiting for that fairy-tale prince or princess to come to you.
We don’t get love from another person, we have it already and so we share our love with another whenever our self-love cup is full. They are not our source; God is our source of true love. And it starts with feeling and knowing that divine love within.
Further, self-love is not putting yourself above another or having to prove you’re better than others, it means feeling love within yourself.
Do you think highly of yourself? Do you know what your needs are? Are you fulfilling your needs or expecting someone else to do it?
These questions are putting self-love into action.
So many of us say I don’t really have any time for myself. But then we start to feel insecure, moody, and unhappy or feel like there’s something missing because we haven’t given ourselves the attention we need.
We then make Valentine’s Day the one day of the year that we try to cram all this love and expectations into one day and set ourselves up for disappointment.
How about making it a day of self-love and love for ALL people. The ability to be able to give and receive love is the healthiest thing you can do on this planet.
Every single one of us has a place within our heart that was broken from someone who was supposed to love us but didn’t.
We secretly still have this underlying addiction that the ‘other’ will save us and bring all the love that we desire and need to heal. But we can’t place the ‘other’ on a pedestal because he or she could leave or it could be you doing the leaving.
Getting ready for love means a lot more than chocolates or buying sexy lingerie. It means getting ready within; clearing and healing any past heartbreaks, resentments, and fears, limiting beliefs and preparing your heart again to welcome in romantic love – but only when you’re truly ready.
Act like someone who’s in love (even though you may not be). Everywhere you go exude blissful energy. Let everyone you meet feel your love.
Your Self Love Junkie Valentine’s Day Prescription
1. Ask yourself
What romantic gestures or actions would I like on Valentines Day? Example; flowers, chocolates, going to the movies, dinner etc.
2. Take action
The thought you just had about the romantic gesture is something for you to do for you or for a friend or with a friend/s! And whether you’re single or in a relationship, you can still go out and buy yourself some flowers.
3. Affirm loving words
Speak words that will lift you up. “I am loving. I am deeply loveable no matter what.” “I deserve to be cherished.” “People and things change but Gods love for me always remains.” “Real love is on the way for me, it’s just a matter of divine timing.” Speaking like this awakens a conviction of hope and an attractive energy to be around your aura. People are drawn to this beautiful energy. In essence, your energy is unconsciously or consciously healing others with your love.
4. Keep your heart open
Bring flowers into your life as they’re healing, gentle for your energy and they can open your heart to love. Visualize your heart surrounded by pink light, or buy pink roses and inhale the fragrance. Pray to feel fulfilled and at peace. The more that you open your heart to divine love, the more love, and peace you’ll feel.
This deserves repeating many times, but it’s so important to nurture the relationship you have with yourself instead of spending all of your energy on trying to have another person make you feel satisfied.
If you continue to put self-love on the back burner you may keep attracting people, situations and relationships that disappoint you.
You are loved as you are, and your identity isn’t in your relationship status or how you look, you’re identity is rooted in God’s love.I hope you enjoy the greatest adventure of learning to love yourself. Be sweet to you, and have some fun.
Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful.