How to forgive yourself for past mistakes

Is there something you can’t stop beating yourself over and you just can’t seem to forgive yourself for past mistakes?

We’ve all made mistakes in our lives which have caused us to carry guilt which then leads to shame and now weighing on our heart.

However, we are not perfect, and there is no such thing as perfectionism – it’s an illusion and a bad trap. We are human beings doing the best we can and (hopefully) learning from our mistakes.

Once we become aware that we’ve screwed up, we need to take responsibility for our actions, be sorry where needed, and admit when we’ve done something wrong so we can avoid the same mistake in the future.

And we only call “mistakes” when we look back in the present moment with a higher level of awareness and would now choose to have done things differently.

If you can’t stop beating yourself over for your past mistakes, you need to understand at the time of making this decision you were doing the best you could at the level of your awareness and trying to fulfill a personal need.

It’s not useful to continue to beat yourself over because it doesn’t help you in any way. Your inner critic will always have something negative to say about you, find fault with everything you do, keep reminding you of your past mistakes and does not give you any credit.

So what you need to do instead is to connect with your inner mentor. Your inner mentor stands up for you, helps you learn from your mistakes, and will offer you positive advice that will help you move forward.

Since we can’t erase our past, it’s only then wise to listen to your inner mentor and learn from your experiences so you can make better choices in the future.

There are some things that I’ve done in my life and now that I look back on I wouldn’t do those things today. And yet these past decisions have carved me into the woman that I am today. That was the person I was with all that I knew, and now I’ve learned from these experiences which have allowed me to move on with self-compassion.

How does self-forgiveness look like?

1. Become aware of your mistakes
2. Admit them & take responsibility for them
3. Compliment yourself for becoming aware
4. Where necessary or possible make amends
5. Learn and come to peace with your mistakes
6. Use this knowledge for the next choices in your life & move on

The key to self-forgiveness requires to stop judging yourself and to reframe your mistake into one of empowerment.

You’re not a bad person, nor should your self-worth be measured by your past choices. If you unintentionally hurt someone, make apologies where needed, learn from it and don’t do it again.

Rather than staying stuck in this place of guilt or shame, acknowledge your humanity and forgive yourself completely. If you keep judging yourself you are withholding self-love and self-forgiveness and cutting yourself off from the Divine.

Remember, in the eyes of the Divine, there is no such thing as mistakes just learning experiences.

Begin your self-forgiveness process by asking yourself these questions:

  • “What am I still beating myself over? And how is that affecting my life?”
  • “How much have I forgiven myself for the past?”
  • “Given the same circumstances today, and knowing what I know today, would I act differently?”
  • “What have I learned from this experience?”
  • “What can I now appreciate about myself?”

Keep moving forward in your self-forgiveness process and be gentle with yourself. If you keep guilt and shame inside of you, you are more likely to act it out and will take a toll on you on every level.

Instead of guilt and shame, use the energy of love and light and learn from your mistakes.

Allow each day to bring you into your heart — you can do this by trying out various meditation techniques to help you with your healing or other practices of self-affirmation.

Here is a mantra to put up anywhere around your home….

I allow myself to be imperfect.
I allow others to be imperfect.
I’m allowed to make mistakes.
I forgive myself for whatever happened.
I forgive all others.
No matter what I’ve said or done…
I’m still loveable.
I’m still worthy to be here.
I’m still good enough.

I hope this mantra comes in good use whenever you feel like you can’t forgive yourself for past mistakes.

Love,
Irene