Most of us have had failed relationships, but relationships are only a failure if we don’t learn from them. If you can extract the lessons from each partner then you are more of a success than a failure and well on your way to a healthier & happier relationship.
When you don’t do your spiritual homework and instead carry old emotional baggage and I’m saying this with all respect, you remain in victimhood; you will bring your wounds into your new relationship, which will damage any hope of love and a future with this new person. Trust me.
Sometimes the experience of past relationships can even hinder someone from finding love with another person because their energy is either still hanging onto their ex and/or still experiencing bitterness, anger, resentment, or hopelessness around love.
And if you’re currently dating someone but secretly still hanging onto an ex, then it’s not hard to compare your ex with someone you’re currently seeing and potentially falling in love with. But thinking that the same mistakes and mishaps will happen again will only doom the new relationship.
Here are 5 tips to help you leave old relationships in the past so that you can focus on the possibilities of new love in the present and future:
1. All guys aren’t the same
Just because you had one bad apple for a boyfriend, doesn’t mean that all of them will be the same. You have to understand that whatever happened in one relationship, won’t necessarily happen in your next (if you don’t let it). And because no two guys are the same, you shouldn’t make your current boyfriend or husband pay for the mistakes of past loves that hurt you. Change the story in your head to, “The universe is filled with amazing, loving men, and I am good enough, and capable enough of finding me a great catch!”
2. Take the time to heal properly
The last thing you want to do is jump right into a new relationship as soon as your old one just finished. You need to make sure you give yourself enough time to heal before you start dating again. To heal, you’ll have to make amends with your past relationship, forgive yourself or your ex-lover and move on. Healing doesn’t have to be complex or take years, it can happen the moment you welcome it into your heart & without fear. There is also no set time to heal and everybody does it differently, but know that one day you’ll feel ready to get back out there again and find true love for all the right reasons.
3. You are not the same person when you broke up
Have you grown and learned and gathered some wisdom through your past relationship? Have you done spiritual work since your breakup? If yes, then you’re not the same person that you were since you got with this person. So give yourself a break and imagine that you can now choose a relationship from a higher vibe. We tend view ourselves on past identities that we’ve outgrown. And we have to shine a light on that identity and recognize we’re not that same person anymore. And what we’re going to create now depends on who we are now, who we are yet to become and NOT who we once were.
4. Don’t let fear hold you back
It’s okay to feel a little fear about future relationships; everyone experiences this especially if you came from a toxic relationship. But it’s not okay to let fear hold you back from the possibility of real love. If you’re sacred of getting hurt again, remember what we said, you’re not the same person and therefore your point of attraction will be different. Be brave and know that there is someone out there for you that won’t hurt you as others have done before because now you’re on the path of self love, and you love yourself enough to know your self worth and listen to your intuition for red flags!
5. Look for the right person
When you do get back out into the dating game, look for someone who is different from your ex. Be open to how he might look like. A lot of the times we miss out on love opportunities and shoot the bullet too soon because we had this image in our head of how he ‘should’ look like. Don’t be quick to judge the book by its cover per se. Focus more on how he makes you FEEL. I can tell you that my partner was nothing what I’d imagined I would end up with, but his soul is definitely my match and I’m physically attracted to him. Take your time finding the right person, go on more than 3 dates and allow your inner guidance to guide.
Remember that what happened in the past let it stay in the past, take the positives and use them to empower you. Look onward and upward in all things in life, including love because that is in your forecast!