Are you insecure, self conscious and sensitive? To the point where you can feel every word, look, and gesture, whether it’s for you or not, you just want to escape your own body, your own life?
You’re definitely not alone.
In those self-conscious moments not only is it a tough place to be but also painful to feel. However, self-consciousness is all about you, not other people.
People aren’t focused on you as much as you think.
When you get caught up in your head, unconsciously or consciously, you put up a mask, judge yourself, hide your true identity and miss out on the opportunity of expressing your true self and connecting with other people on a heart to heart level.
Learning to be fully ourselves without caring about reactions and judgments from others is a life-long journey.
Regardless of how confident and self-assured you are there will come a time in life when you’ll feel vulnerable to be yourself.
But the question is, what is it that you’re most attached to in getting from others that’s causing you to be self-conscious? Is it approval, being validated, or being liked?
And are you showing up in a way where you expect others to show up for you? For example, if you’re expecting others to be more accepting and less critical toward you, are you accepting and non critical of others exactly as they are?
Some deep wisdom within that question for you to ponder about.
So how do we stop feeling self-conscious? Because when you’re self-conscious of course you’re going to feel insecure and sensitive.
Your self-consciousness is coming from a fear of judging yourself.
The very thing that you’re needing is your own approval. Your own inner judgments and self-criticisms are what are creating your insecurities. In that moment of feeling self-conscious, it’s all about what you’re telling yourself in your head. And the more you speak to yourself in a supportive, loving way, the less insecure you will feel.
You need to come from a place of self-acceptance.
Honor your sensitivity. Turn it around and come up with reasons as to why your sensitivity is a gift? Bypass all the reasons why it’s tough to feel the way you’re feeling and come up with a list of reasons why being sensitive is a blessing. For example, I’m sure you can remember a time when you listened to your gut and you just knew what was best for you. Or a time when a friend was going through a challenging time and you were able to support and love your friend through their pain.
Stop focusing on feeling insecure.
Come up with a list of things that you feel secure about yourself. For example:
– I feel secure as a coach
– I feel secure in my ability to be able to choose the right partner or the right job
– I feel secure in knowing what is best for my health
– I feel secure in my spiritual confidence
– I feel secure with who I am in my marriage
– I feel secure about my dedication to personal growth
When we shift our focus on security and safety, not only do we start feeling better, things start to shift within where we begin to prove right with what we believe about ourselves and life.
Allow yourself to feel without judgement and stop over thinking as to why you’re feeling that way.
Avoid beating yourself up and instead tell yourself, “Even though I’m feeling self-conscious and sensitive, I love and accept myself anyway. Instead of feeling stuck in this tough place, I’m going to use some strategies to help me deal with this energy.” And off you go with applying the strategies.
How much more empowering does that feel?
And last but not least, is to center yourself by moving your energy out of your head from all the negative self-talk and into your body by taking in deep breaths. Being caught up in your emotional energy or others energy can make you shallow breathe without realising.
Breathing exericse: simply inhale deeply through your nose to the count of six, hold at the top for three counts, and then exhale through your mouth to the count of six. Repeat this a few times. It will relax your body, quiet your thoughts, and help you get out of your head.
If you use essential oils (amazing stuff!) you might want to pull out your lavendar or vetiver as you do your centering breathing exercise.
And if none of these tips work for you (which I’d be surprised if they didn’t), go out and be of service to someone. Sometimes taking the focus off of ourselves and helping others can help heal ourselves in the process.
I hope those tips are helpful! Try them out, and feel free to let me know what happens.