You just had the realization that nothing is changing and you keep repeating the past or you’re having a hard time moving forward. You are feeling exhausted by the same old issues yet believe that there’s no other way.
Or, you’re walking around feeling sorry for yourself wondering why life is doing this to you. I can tell you, life is not doing anything to you, just responding to what you are throwing at it.
Whenever you encounter a recurring pattern or you just can’t seem to move forward, it usually stems from hurt feelings in your past that you haven’t gotten over. And unless you face and heal old emotional pain, you will not change this pattern.
However, if you have reached a point of ‘enough already’ and you are ready and willing to do what it takes to be happier and change your life for the better, then my friend, you have just opened the door of opportunity to change the ending of your life story. We are all storytellers, and it’s up to us with how we want to write our story – one where it’s more beautiful and empowering and one where you’ll look back & thank your lessons.
And when we catch ourselves repeating a pattern over and over again, more than likely, it’s often caused by unresolved emotions from our childhood or our past that need our attention to heal particular wounds.
When you don’t wake up as a result of your pain, you will continue to live blindly and unconsciously keep repeating similar events, circumstances, habits, relationships or people into your life and sometimes in a more intense form.
It’s not because you are crazy or neurotic, it’s because you need to heal your heart, cleanse your mind, forgive, build your self-worth and move on.
I see so many people who hang onto their pain and past story way past the expiration date, which is interfering with their health, peace, and happiness today. There is no value in hanging on to hurt, it’s doing more harm than good. We are all here to learn and grow.
Which means, there are times you need to go back to your past to connect the dots to your wounded parts and gain understanding so that you can finally heal and stop repeating the past and finally move on.
It doesn’t mean that you’re letting the person(s) off the hook, it simply means that you’ve let toxic feelings go in exchange for peace.
No matter what past you come from, it’s not your destiny, nor does it define who you are today. It’s never too late for you to be the woman you want to be and to create the life you daydream about.
The sooner you surrender all negative self-judgment, regrets, heartaches, and disappointments, the sooner you can start creating a new story and rebuild your self-confidence.
Does healing take work? Yes, it does. Just be mindful not to get impatient and feel overwhelmed by the thought of how long this might take and how difficult it will be because that is also a belief.
If you’re consistent, it won’t take as long or be as hard as you imagine. Growth is incremental with a few leaps in between along the way. You’ll see it as it happens.
3 Steps to Stop Repeating The Past
1. BE THE DETECTIVE IN YOUR OWN LIFE
Visualize yourself putting a DVD onto a blank screen. This DVD is of your life thus far. Become the observer by looking through nonjudgmental eyes, and rewind to the parts where you’re still hanging onto past files in your current life.
Where are you holding onto heartache? Who are you blaming? What do you need to heal? Is it a relationship? A person? A situation? An event? Yourself? Begin the healing process and free yourself from all the agony.
2. KNOW YOUR WORTH
What patterns are you repeating that you think could be broken if you released the past and increased your self-worth? And if you could experience a good dose of self-worth & self-esteem, what might be different in your life?
3. SPEAK POWERFULLY
Learn to speak words that hold power and in alignment to what you desire. There is well-documented science stating that the way we think and how we speak changes our DNA. Our brain creates memories in our mind and the experiences we go through are stored, pushing forward the things we do without thinking. When we pay attention to the things we say and how we think, you will feel differently, respond differently and live differently.
You can start today. Say it out loud, with belief and intent. “I release the past now. I take only the love and lessons. I choose to live a powerful life. I forgive those who have hurt me in the past and let it go. I am free to not be attached to past emotions and am free to create a brand new life. I am strong. I am moving forward. The right people are coming into my life and we have healthy relationships together. I am growing every day and becoming the person I was created to be. I am free from holding myself back and I am becoming my truest self.”
Remember to take one day at a time. Focus on becoming accountable, loving, and loyal to your Self, this leads to refusing to settle for less and having your own back. It’s one of those 1,000 step journeys. Take a step every single day and IT WILL HEAL.
P.S If you feel guided to seek professional support, I highly recommend seeing a good therapist, counselor, healer or life coach to help you heal and move forward sooner rather than later. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Everyone in life needs support. Of course, I would love to support you, you can check out my personal 1:1 sessions and see how we can work together.