How to handle life's obstacles (and love yourself anyway)

Just when you thought your life was coming together, boom… another obstacle comes your way. You feel like your life is one obstacle after another.

And then someone comes along and says you just need to stay positive & strong…Arghh. That’s probably the last thing you want to hear in the midst of your anger & upset. And deep within your psyche, you already know this to be true, but you just need a moment or two to wallow in self-pity – which is totally allowed.

I’ve come to discover, as long as we are living on this planet in a human body, we will always experience obstacles and change — it’s part of being alive. And even though these kinda obstacles are never fun, without them, you would not positively grow if things just went along perfectly.

Now, this isn’t to say that your obstacles are not difficult or painful, nor do you have to like them, but you do have a choice to rise above them sooner rather than later by seeing them differently.

Consider these questions:

What if your obstacles are presented to you for your soul’s growth? That there is a deeper meaning to all of this and all are divine interventions? That you are not being punished by God; to the contrary, God’s will for you is happiness.

What if these lessons are on your path for you to gain higher wisdom and to upgrade your spiritual path to one of more peace, even amongst the chaos? (Something I’m still cultivating in my life.)

And you might be thinking, “What if I can’t find the lesson in the obstacle?” Well, sometimes we can find the lesson in our obstacles and other times, we have no idea why we are going through what we’re going through. And it’s in these moments we need to let go of the questioning, turn to prayer, and learn to be the best that we can be in every situation, every moment…one small step at a time.

Give yourself permission to love yourself during times of hardship and recognize that you are not your obstacles. Don’t let your ego suck you into thinking that you are your life’s lessons and therefore you cannot experience any joy until they are gone.

How Do You Love Yourself During the Tough Times?

Firstly, when we are in the midst of our thick emotions, the last thing we want to hear is, “What is this trying to teach me?” Because when we’re experiencing distress at that moment, logic says, “Why would I want to learn anything from this? This sucks and I don’t wanna learn anything right now.”

I totally get it! There was a time in my life where nothing was working and I mean NOTHING. My career, health, romantic life, finances, or friendships had all spiraled down. At first, I thought, God must be punishing me for something, but that’s not true and not helpful to think that way.

So let’s get started on how can you feel better in the midst of your chaos. I have a four-step process before you get to, “What’s this obstacle trying to teach me?” so that you can arrive at a place where you’re more open to the idea of spiritual growth.

1. Throw a self-pity party
Put your timer on for about 30minutes and give yourself a good self-pity party, but do not stay there for too long because as we know, it’s to go down the rabbit hole. Once you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, it’s time to put on your lipstick, look into the mirror and tell yourself, “You’ve got this, beautiful…” and move onto step two.

2. Find the teacher within the obstacle
How could you use your current obstacle to your advantage? Here are a few questions to ponder:

  1. What does my soul need to learn from this situation?
  2. What problems in my life have caused the greatest growth in me?
  3. By feeling this way, what is it helping?
  4. How can I create joy into my life now regardless of what is going on externally?
  5. How can I deepen my spiritual practice?

3. Choose love over fear
God is love. Period. Get silent and turn over your worries & fears to God. Every time I pray with BELIEF, without fail, I experience a sense of peace & comfort. I may not get answers and the problem may not dissapear, but I get the feeling of comfort. Sometimes I receive answers within that moment, or at a later time, or other times, I’m still waiting. Regardless, all calls for help are answered. Whenever you find yourself drowning in fear, repeat a positive phrase until you return to peace. For example; “I trust in God’s promise to care for me always, and I am safe.”

4. Start a happy list
I’ve learned how important it is to try & find some kinda joy in the everyday life. When I was bedridden from Lyme & living back with my parents because I couldn’t take care of myself, I could feel myself spiraling down into a dark hole. I knew if I continued this way, things weren’t going to turn out pretty, so I forced myself to do a happy list & do one thing each day that would bring my spirit back to life. For example, watch travel documentaries while in bed; listen to inspirational audios; eat & drink from my best chinaware; read pretty books; sit in the sunshine; drink peppermint hot cocoa etc. Start your ultimate happy list!

You are not lost, or a failure, or on the wrong road. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Just keep going, let faith be louder than your fears as faith can carry you and soon you’ll be in the clear once more.

When you think nothing is coming to you – just imagine that the Universe is busy lining things up for you. I believe you can never miss your destiny. And if you think you do (because there’s this thing called free will), another path will be paved for you.

What do you think your current challenge is trying to teach you?

Comment below, I would love to hear.

Sending you all my love & positve vibes your way.