how to stop feeling crazy jealous in your relationship
You’re in a relationship and your partner is everything you want, but there’s just one teeny tiny problem, you are SO jealous. To the point that you know you’re self-sabotaging your relationship but you just don’t know what to do.

The second you and your partner are out amongst the crowd and around other women, you get into a paranoid psycho mode and think that he’s staring at other girls.

You are so terrified that your boyfriend/husband will be interested in another woman but you have zero reason to believe that he would do anything because so far he has shown that he’s faithful, trustworthy, and loves you.

You’ve tried to bite your tongue, give yourself pep talks, and ignore your feelings, but nothing seems to help and you end up exploding and freaking out on him over your paranoia.

Know that when you start feeling jealous, you are just really scared – jealousy comes from fear. And this fear is like an alarm bell trying to grab your attention because there is something inside of you that needs healing.

So you need to look more on the inside and discover what is lying dormant. Usually, there are unresolved issues from past relationships that haven’t been healed, sub-conscious programming, your perceptions, feelings of not being good enough, a fear of abandonment, and a loss of love, all of which create a recipe of low self-esteem & craziness.

Sometimes when I would feel not good enough in my relationship, I would know that it was a sign that I had not spent enough time with my Spirit, and that my past experiences were still haunting me and that I still needed healing.

You need to ask yourself WHY you are feeling jealous.

If my partner was a big flirt, wanted to cheat, and didn’t respect me or other women, then why would I want to be with someone who behaves in this matter? No thanks. Moving on.

If your partner is giving you a good reason to be jealous and not respecting you, why are you with them?

You deserve respect, but you must embody that! {Re-read that line again.}

Some women who don’t truly love themselves, get involved with men who hurt them because they believe that is all they deserve.

If you know deep within your heart that your jealousy stems from your insecurities, then you need to spend more time with your Spirit & one way to do this is to journal your thoughts around the WHY.

If someone is going to cheat or whatever, they are going to do it regardless and there is nothing you can do or say about it. Better to find out now than later and move on with someone who treats you better.

So beautiful, stop wasting your energy on being jealous. It’s a turn off for men and they are not going to want to hang around you often.

The ‘right guy’ is attracted to a woman who is confident in her skin and confident in her relationship.

It’s no fun if you’re constantly on his back about other women. It’s a major downer and messes with his boner. {Yes, I just said that.}

Relationships truly are our best assignments and they do need nurturing. Your partner is there to shine the light on the parts of you that need healing and if you’ve always been insecure about the way you look, you’ll most likely attract a partner who will push your insecurities.

Instead of being mad at yourself, it’s time to be proactive. Be grateful that this emotion has come up because it’s an opportunity for you to learn, heal, grow and become even closer to your Self and strengthen the bond with your partner.

Use this opportunity to dig deep and figure out the reasons why he loves YOU

Look at all those reasons and know that he has chosen you for those reasons. If he didn’t dig you he wouldn’t be with you. Get busy with YOUR life & you’ll have no energy on what he’s doing or not doing in the relationship.

Continue with the pep talks 

Eventually, those pep talks will seep into your subconscious mind and you will start believing that you are his queen. Whenever you have those crazy thoughts of your partner cheating or feelings of not being good enough when he looks at other women, tell yourself, “He may have glanced her way. She’s pretty and I also appreciate beauty, but I know who I am, I love who I am, and I know he genuinely loves me.”

Remind yourself that you are in a state of fear and you need to return to love

You can say something like this to yourself: “Oh, there goes my ego again feeding me false messages. I am love. I am Spirit. And therefore I am beautiful and good enough exactly as I am. God loves me. I love me. And my partner loves me.” You may have to say this 100x per day.

And ladies, even “good” men will look. He could have Halle Berry by his side and he will still look at other women. It doesn’t mean they are going to do something to hurt you or don’t love you. They’re just men, it’s in their DNA to look.

What I’ve realized is that the more I focus on being my best self, making myself happy, connecting with my light, and creating an amazing life, the more my partner wants to be by my side and gaze into my eyes.

If you want an amazing partner, you have to be that amazing person.

Know that he does not determine your self-worth.

Make self-love a part of your lifestyle to banish fear from your relationship and add self-awareness into the way you react toward your partner.

Keep focusing on building your self-worth, independent of making him desire you more, and he’ll keep choosing you!

I’d love to know what you thought of this post, and if you have any tips of your own, please let me know in the comments below.

And lastly, if you’d like some support and guidance with your self-confidence and to experience happier relationships, here are some ways we can work together:

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Picture via WildFox