There is always a reason and a value for being where you’re at right now and doing what you’re currently doing if it’s done for the ‘right’ reasons….unconsciously or consciously.
Meaning? On an unconscious level, your behaviour and actions are currently serving you to feel safe, protected, and loved. Most of us are responding to life, unknowingly, on auto pilot based on our programming and beliefs.
A few years back, I had a coaching session with my own coach where I was filled with so much self-doubt, fear and not trusting the flow of my life because time was ticking. I was getting older and life hadn’t unfolded the way I’d imagined.
“If only I did that and I shouldn’t have done that and I should have…I should have…I should have…then things would have been different for me right now.” I was shoulding all over myself and being a bully to myself.
We tend to use hindsight and go back into the past to beat ourselves up for not doing things differently. How fair is that?
You’re now on the conscious path, you’ve healed some layers and have more wisdom and then going back to your past and beating yourself up for what you didn’t know then but know now.
You have to believe that on some level, you did what you thought what was right for you at that time. Period. If you knew back then what you knew now, wouldn’t you have done ‘it’ differently? At the time you thought you made the best choices for yourself.
The most difficult thing to do is to release expectations of what ‘should’ or ‘could’ have been by now. Even if things haven’t gone to your plans, along the way with all the detours, breakdowns, and breakthroughs, there’s still a divine plan at play that is for your highest good.
But having faith in what you can’t see unfolding and trusting the spaces in between is a challenging assignment. You’re in a season of The Fertile Void as Gestalt Therapy describes it when nothing appears to be happening but things are moving. You’re just making space for it. For how long? Ah, no one knows.
If you’re currently wrestling with a part of you that feels uncertain, self-doubt and insecure at the thought of your desires not coming true and it’s bringing about a lot of ‘negative thoughts,’ you might feel reactive because most of us don’t like the thought that our future is uncertain.
And when things feel uncertain we automatically think that things wont work out for us. But going back to the Gestalt theory, what if things are in flow?
Are you willing to question your thoughts and beliefs and know that everything is still possible for you?
Can you hold that vision of you flowing?
Are you willing to change your perception and therefore your self-talk to “When I don’t know how things will turn out, I know that everything is still possible for me?”
That part of you that is feeling uncertain and insecure wants what your true Self wants, it’s just trying to get joy, safety, or love in a different way.
And there might be a part of you that when you read ‘everything is still possible for you’ feels true but it’s muted because the self-doubt/uncertain part of you is louder. And it’s louder because you’ve disconnected to your true Self and voice.
Your true Self is the most real part. It’s curious, confident, wise, whole, and not triggered.
And how do we get disconnected from our true Self? In many ways, one of them being comparing ourselves to others, listening to others, and disconnecting from our body.
A common theme in my coaching practice is women in their 30’s who have yet to find their ideal partner, they’re nearing 40 and want to start a family. (And I have so much compassion and empathy for these women.)
But they have people yakking into their ears that they better hurry up and find someone which is only causing more anxiety and self-doubt. We are so conditioned to think a certain way in life which is why people compare themselves to others.
What if you gave yourself permission to block all the noise from other people, walk away from comparison and just trusted the flow of YOUR life, how different would you feel?
I can bet more in your power – more assured.
What if you trusted what God says about your life instead?
And then you might say, “But I can’t hear divine guidance.” When you’re too much in your head, you’ve disconnected from your body and can’t confidently listen to divine guidance. Listening to your true voice is more of a heart thing not a head thing.
Whenever I’m wanting divine guidance and to feel more confident with where I’m heading or how I feel about myself, I have to reconnect with my body.
And you can reconnect to your body right now by simply closing your eyes and doing some breath work. Taking 4 deep breaths in, holding for 4, breathing out for 4, and holding for 4 and starting from the top again….doing this 4 times.
You’re now connected to your body. And once you’re connected to your body’s wisdom you can better connect to Gods wisdom. So this is one way of reconnecting to your body.
Circling back to uncertainty – there was a point in my life before getting pregnant where uncertainty around me getting pregnant had entered into my mind and my heart had shut down a little. And it was one particular morning where I decided to open up the bible and land on the page where Sarah in Genesis 18:9-15 longed for a child but she had lost hope because of her age and found herself disappointed in God.
But someone had come along and told her to hang onto hope in which she laughed. If you know the story, Sarah ended up having a son.
After reading that story I was in tears. God was showing me that I was acting like Sarah and it was true, I was. And it was that particular day where I opened my heart that little bit more to hope and possibility and shifted my perception.
And, well, you know what happens in part 2 of my story. If not, here it is in this blog post. 🙂
Can you believe that God (or whatever you believe in) is bigger than your small vision of your self and life?
When things don’t seem to be flowing the way you’d like, try to use this time to reconnect with yourself on a deeper spiritual level; connecting with the confident voice of your true Self.
Can you feel encouraged to continue to pray for what you’re asking for knowing that your prayers are being attended to?
And even though there is a part of you where you feel uncertain and another part of you where you feel hopeful – it won’t mess up your ‘manifestations.’
(Because you can feel hope and fear at the time same.)
I would just encourage you to lean more into hope and to let go of any stories or limitations and choose to believe in your God given vision.
If your intuition is calling you to book a session with me, I can help you identify and clear your blocks that are standing in the way of your desires, and support you with feeling more secure. If that sounds like something you’re ready for, let’s work together.
I’m sending you so much love and many blessings,