Dear Dolores, The distance between us is breaking my spirit. Falling in love with you was the easiest thing I have ever done. PS. Kiss the kids. – Don Shirley, Green Book (movie)

Most women that I know would love to receive a love letter from their partner.

Perhaps you have received a love letter (or many) from someone or have never received one. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is receiving a love letter from you.

But who would even think to write themselves a love letter when we’ve been trained to look to others to help us feel whole and complete.

You might be thinking, “Yeah but, Irene, receiving a love letter from someone you love expressing their love to you would be amazing.”

I’m not saying that it’s not amazing to receive one but why put yourself in a position where you’re placing all of your power into someone else’s hands to make you feel a certain way? Because if that’s the case, then they can also make you feel the opposite and then your emotions will just constantly be a rollercoaster based on what he does or doesn’t do.

I can remember in a previous relationship trying to get my partner to do certain things and it just wasn’t in his character to do so. It didn’t mean that he wasn’t madly in love with me, it just wasn’t his style.

The stress of trying to “change” someone and having to deal with constant disappointment, and negativity leads to a cascade of stress hormones in your body.

It is well documented that people who are under constant stress weakens their immune systems, leaving them a magnet to infectious diseases and so-called autoimmune disorders. And I can say this is true because that happened to me.

Having said that, I do believe in the power of letter writing and the impact they can have on someone. One letter can truly change someone’s life.

However, receiving a love letter from yourself can also have a meaningful impact and change your entire life.

How so? When we write our thoughts down this solidifies the realness of what is truly going on within us, we better hear our inner voice, connect to God, and release the emotions from our body.

It’s funny at what happens when you release your expectations, the very thing that you’re desiring has a higher chance of coming your way.

When we desire something so desperately we can actually push it away from our ‘desperate’ energy. If we can just trust, stay in our love vibe, and detach from any outcome, we might be surprised by what the universe brings to us.

So, now it’s time to learn how to write yourself a love letter. You could go about it in a few ways, but I’ll share my experience to give you an idea and what inspired me to write this post.

It had been 7 years since I re-visted New York. It’s a place that I hold close to my heart. I went to visit one of my old apartments and as I stood there, so many scenes came flooding into my mind. I saw a movie of myself coming and going through the front door and what I was going through.

And then I got really sad.

As I stood there, I thought to myself how much I’ve positively changed, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And here I was (my future self ) standing outside the apartment wishing I could have passed on some words of wisdom to the girl who I gave my last breath to 7 years ago.

This is what I told tell my past self…

Dear past Irene,

I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when it was me you were needing the most. I’m so sorry I didn’t see your worth. I was blinded by looking externally to gain and measure your worth & value through other peoples opinions, to men, and to beauty. I didn’t know any better. I sabotaged your potential because I didn’t believe in you enough and chose to believe in those f&%ked up thoughts that kept manipulating you into believing that you weren’t good enough, successful enough, pretty enough or smart enough. In your darkest times, the love and approval you were so desperately seeking, I abandoned you. I’m so sorry. But I’ve learned so much from you. And for that, I have to thank you. Without your experiences, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. But most importantly, without your strength, courage, faith, and hope, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you for not giving up on the woman staring back at you in the mirror. Even though it was ugly at times, some how you managed to wipe your tears, pick yourself up from the floor and continue on. Your tenacious spirit truly inspires me.

I love you.

Me (aka the woman starting back at you in the mirror)

Okay. So now it’s your turn. There is no right or wrong way to write a letter to yourself – it has to be right for you. The letter above was a forgiveness letter. You may choose to write a letter from your future self to your current self.

If you could have a glimpse into your future, what message would you want your future self to tell you? She wants to reassure you that you’re ready to receive all that you need to know.

For example:

You’re already good enough & worthy enough simply for your existence
Look in the mirror and give that woman love and credit
Do your best every day
Don’t push your dreams to the side for anyone
Your worth & beauty does not live in a man
You don’t have to know every step, you just need to have the faith
Believe in yourself and everything will come together

How does she dress and act? Perhaps she has this confidence about her and assurity. You see how powerful and confident you’ve become. If you want to receive some guidance, ask your future self what you want to know most and then listen as she gives you the best answer for you right now. She then tells you to apply your answer.

Go somewhere where you feel comfortable and safe and where you won’t be interrupted. Light a candle, put on a good song or write in silence, and write from the heart, saying what you need to say and maybe what you need or needed to hear.

Place the letter somewhere, and whenever you lose focus and feel helpless, read the letter.

I would love to know the guidance you receive!

Happy writing.

With love,